Open When the World Gets on Your Fucking Nerves.

First of all, whoever pissed you off today, I hope their pillow feels like the fucking surface of the sun on both sides. Okay, maybe I’m being a little shit about it. Let me have this one. Anyway, I don’t know what kind of day you’re having right now. Maybe somebody said something stupid, maybe five different things went wrong before lunch, or maybe your brain woke up and chose violence against its own owner. Happens. Brains are weird little bastards with terrible management.

Here’s a suggestion from someone with absolutely no qualifications in making life less annoying. Stop giving today extra credit. It was a shitty day. It doesn’t need a sequel, a director’s cut, or a three-hour post-credits scene where you replay every embarrassing thing you’ve ever done since birth. Please, for the love of whatever you believe in, don’t start holding a disciplinary hearing against yourself over things that have already happened. You can be disappointed about something without turning yourself into the defendant, the prosecutor, and the judge. That’s three jobs for one person. We all know it’s a terrible work-life balance.

Eat something. Drink something that isn’t coffee for once. Complain if you feel like it. Insult the universe a little. I hear it has a fragile ego. You don’t have to make tonight useful, either. There’s no award for suffering efficiently, Kittish. I’ve checked. The benefits package is shit. I’m done pretending this letter has a productive conclusion. Go be miserable for a bit if that’s what today calls for. Don’t let one lousy day convince you that you’re suddenly qualified to predict how the rest of your life is going to turn out.

If you need someone to blame for the next twenty minutes, I’m available. My rates are terrible, but I do accept payment in gossip.